My Fears Came True @ Minggu, 20 Mei 2012

I struggle because of these situations I can’t handle

I thought I would be carefree once I let you go, but that wasn't the case.

I thought i might smile when that time comes

I knew i was wrong.

that everytime i precieve you, i die a little death

and that my heart suffered a small tear

if you were come into my world,

above all others, you were the only one who was the ugliest.

And you were the only one...who was the most beautiful....

This is the unspoken truth.

I hate to observe the thing between you guys

I'm totaly insane

I never have an idea, that one by one happened,

that i feared the most.

If i could be the one who suit you ... i love you for endless time

I terrified of losing you

Since you were the first suitable person with what my heart desired.

i can't find nobody else like you

just you.

My biggest fear ...

Please, don't be real

A true story of

Regina Cindy

Label: fears, love story, my love story, sad

Imperfection Is So Me @ Minggu, 06 Mei 2012

Maybe i wonder, why i'm always hiding like this. I don't even know why i close my heart tighter than before, everytime i found a new person and in the end he leaved me alone without saying a words i want to hear from him. I'm afraid of losing. Losing someone without i can even reach. It such a funny story ! I don't know whether i should laugh til the tears streaming down my face or crying a lot and laughing at myself to become this most stupid creature.
I'm not pretty, i'm not rich, i'm not like the other girls that have their own speciality as their allure. I don't have anything to impress you. My first love is gone after i've been waiting for him 3 years, or maybe more, because until now to be honest i still love him the way i love him before. I'm forcing myself to forget him right now ! And the pain i felt, the tears i shed are all countless, no one will know how sick i am at that time. I have no rights to force him to look at me, he choosed another girl, pretty, smart, and ... PERFECT ! Everything on her, so what should i do? I know right, i have nothing to do. I won't waiting for him. He will never care if i'm crying waiting, or even die because of this. I think about something hard to be reached by me, he's coming to me after gettin' hurt by the girl he love. But if it becomes true, what i want to do is run. I won't care. If he really loves me, why from the first he won't give just a blink at me?

And everytime i open my heart to a new person, i'm afraid to die. I never success to make someone love me. That's the reason why. And all my fears become true. I don't know how to stop it, i hate this way. I wanna scream my feel out. I LOVE YOU, BLIND ! And run, no need the answer,because i know i will have the same like the old one.
Right now, i haven't know about his feeling. And i don't want to know. Watching him from afar is better. Just give a damn smile everytime his eyes and mine met. Tho' i bear the burden after that.

I'm getting more in love with him ...

A True Story of Regina Cindy

Label: love story, my love story